L is for Lust... and Laughter - Dr Shelley's A-Z of Sex

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Dr Shelley - Sexologist
Friday 19 October 2018
L is for Lust... and Laughter - Dr Shelley's A-Z of Sex

L is for Lust

Lust and Laughter!

My new inspiration is Dr Gladys, who I met recently at a fundraiser for The Living Medicine Foundation, in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Originally, many years ago in my early 20’s, I saw a movie that changed my mind set about old age, Harold and Maude. For me, here was this absolutely incredible old lady who was still seducing younger people into the magnificence of life. I wanted to still be sassy and sexy in my 80’s. That was my goal.

Recently when I came face to face with Dr Gladys, who is 98 this year, I met my new mentor. She is still up there, speaking, inspiring, creating, living, laughing and being. Wow! I want to be like her when I grow up. 20 years old to 80 years old seemed massive. A great goal. But now that I’m in my early 50’s, 90 plus seems like a massive goal. And close to 100 an even better goal!

A sudden shift in my mind set occurred. A new realistic, attainable goal. I never saw past 83 before and now I see my future as someone who reaches 100 who is still enjoying this sexual experience!

I am inspired to live long and healthy. To give, to be of service, to do what I can to help my fellow humanity make the most of their short existence here on planet earth, especially sexually!

A term I heard that Dr Gladys has used many times in her lifetime is “Lust to Dust.”

From lust we come, and to dust we return. And it’s the time in between that makes us who we are and gives us our experience here on this planet.

As a sexologist I love the concept of lust. It’s that primal urge that created us, that we live for and search for, that drives us in our lives. Our lust for life and living is what keeps us going. Our lust for love. Our lust for satisfaction, health, happiness.

Lust is such a great word. It embodies desire, passion, action. It truly is the driving force of our lives. Without lust, life is meaningless, empty. Lust is the fuel that drives our existence.


Do you have a lust for life? A lust for living? A lust for love? A lust for being?

As Dr Gladys says, our lives are Lust to Dust. Let’s feel the lust. Create more lust. Embody lust. Be lust.

The dust will be all too soon. It is inevitable. It is our destiny. But until we become dust, let’s enjoy Lust!

Thank you Dr Gladys for inspiring my lust and may my lust for life live on until I am dust.

Dr Gladys is also a great believer that laughter is the best medicine. One of my first papers I wrote at University was about laughter being the best medicine (a great article online about the health benefits of laughter can be found at: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm) And I’m sure you’ve heard about the guy who was diagnosed with a short time to live so decided to watch funny movies and is still alive today. Laughter raises our vibratory rate. To be able to laugh at ourselves is one of the most important things to be able to do. And to laugh WITH each other, not at each other.

I think it is important to bring humor into our lives and to laugh. It keeps us young. People always comment that I am always smiling. It’s because I live the life I love and share that love of life with those I meet. I bring that lust for life and love and laughter into my work, into my writing, and my seminars too.

I was a guest speaker at the Erotica Sex show in New Zealand a few years back and had a featured segment called “Let’s talk about sex”, twice a day on stage, in between male strippers and girl on girl cream pie shows! I had a booth and would talk to people who came up and gather material for my presentation.

I focused one segment on threesomes as that was a common topic… I asked the audience, “How many of you would like a threesome?” There was a massive showing of hands. So I asked for two volunteers. Then I asked, “How many of you girls have been at a bar and fancied a guy but his best mate was the one that hit on you. You weren’t really attracted to the best mate but he was the one with the car and the place to go back to… what to do?” A few tentative hands acknowledged that had happened to them…

My suggestion was to, “Why not do them both!”

I asked for the volunteers to help me demonstrate on stage what to do with two guys… people were laughing their heads off but still learning what different positions work for one girl and two guys, and which ones don’t. Plus it opened their minds to a positive solution to an otherwise potentially awkward scene in the bar.

This actually had happened to me when I was on holiday with my Mum. Every year since my father died my mother and I would meet up somewhere around the world to spend quality mother/daughter time together. She knows I have a very high sex drive and usually a few days into our vacation she can see that I “need” to go out hunting!!! So she encouraged me to go out after she had gone to bed one evening. I went down to the bar on the beach just as some of the workers were getting off and there was one hot guy I had been flirting with who just happened to be there, with another guy who had been hitting on me… I was really attracted to the cutie but the other guy was the one with his own room so I suggested that we all go back to his room. They were a little shocked but didn’t turn down the opportunity.

When My Mum woke up the next morning she looked over and asked, “So did you score?” To which I replied, “Yes, with two boys!” The confused look on her face was the inspiration for the segment on stage at the Erotica show. What do you do with 2 boys?! So I explained that you could start by giving one a blow job and getting him nice and hard while the other one licks your pussy, and then when the first one is ready, turn around, back onto him and get the second one ready as you know the first one is going to pop super quick coz it is such a hot scene…. I call it sexual ping pong. Keep going back from one to the other. Premature ejaculation isn’t an issue when there are two young guys who can play tag team! The lust of youth. Well actually I am still full of lust and am now in my 50’s!

My mother’s expressions as I explained in detail what to do with two boys was priceless. It made me laugh so hard! It came to pass, after quite a long and detailed discussion, that my father had never performed oral on my mother, “Shock! Horror!” Was my reaction. “I was always wet,” she said! And she had never performed oral on my father! More shock and horror! Unimaginable!!! But as she said, “He was always hard!” And her comment on doing it from behind was, “Eeeww! That would be too animalistic!” Duh! Yup! That’s why we do it! Smile, Smile!!!! But different generations, have different “ways!”

One awesome reality I can share, and something that still blows my mind, is that my father died making love to my mother! What a way to go Dad! On Easter Sunday. Rose, Died and Rose again!!! Hard on my Mum though, literally! Sorry, that was bad, but a good example on how to make light of a heavy situation, with humor. Force yourself to laugh! You will feel better about the whole situation…

Think about funny, embarrassing situations that have happened for you, sexually. Bring back those memories and laugh at them, tell the story to someone else and encourage them to laugh with you, not at you!

For me a massive turn on is when an older gent is still horny and actively wants to be sexual. The older the better! My partner is almost 70 and he is still horny and sexy as!

My significant other(s) and I are all going through menopause, or peri-menopause, or post menopause. Luckily none of us have had to put men-on-pause! (larf, larf!) We all needed our hormones to come into balance and one way to safely remove the excess hormones is to use a methylation cream that helps the detox. You rub it on your forearms once in the morning and once in the evening. It can take a while for it to sink in and it does have a dark brown color. So recently we were all in Switzerland staying at our little place in the Alps and chatting with our Swiss friend who looks after and cleans our place after guests leave. She commented that there were some dark brown stains on the arms of the white sofa and looked a little perturbed!!!!

She had thought we were doing anal sex bent over the arm of the sofa and that the brown stain was from from that!!!!!! I laughed and laughed and laughed!!!

Finally my laughter subsided and I explained about the hormonal detox cream we were all using and then she laughed and laughed. The awkward situation dissipated and we could all just laugh about it!

One person’s perceptions of a situation can be very different from another’s. And that is same in life and especially in relationships and communication. You may think you understand what the person is thinking, or the scenario, or situation but it could be completely different to what you imagine. That’s why it is always best to talk directly to people about things. Not behind their back to someone else. Speak directly to them. Tell them “I feel that….” (keep it in the “I”) and then ask them what their perspective of the situation is, their view. You’d be amazed sometimes how different it is to what’s really going on. Like the sofa story above!!!!!!! Too funny! And then when you realize how different the story is, then laugh about it! Shift the energy. Don’t get into defense mode. Find the funny in it. Laughter will bring you back together. Laughter is the best prescription and naturally medicinal. And FREE!!!!! Even if you don’t really feel like laughing. Fake it! Make yourself laugh!Same could be said with orgasms… but more about that in O for Orgasm…